Max: Hey, so usually Thursdays mean new comic reviews. But a host of factors kind of made that undoable this week, so instead I’ve decided I’m going to shake things up alittle.
I just read Ultimate Avengers Volume 2: Crime and Punishment. It’s bad. It’s REAL bad. And we’re going to talk about just how bad it is. Helping me do this is Internet Friend and known Twitterer, Chris Chance!
Chris: Yeah, this is basically….remember the Will Ferrell sketch where he’s satan and Garth Brooks is the regular dude who’s trying to sell his soul? Basically Ultimate Comics: Avengers is Will Ferrell. Mark Millar likes doing big dumb action comics for people that like big dumb action comics. I like big, dumb action comics. I freely admit to it. But the problem is that, instead of playing a crazy awesome demon guitar, Mark Millar is giving us a Fender. He doesn’t know the make or model, or how to even play it.
Max: I dug it. The metaphor, I mean. Not this comic. Never this comic.
Chris: It’s pretty bad.
Max: For our readers who haven’t read the arc, here’s the important details courtesy of WIKIPEDIA:
Captain America goes undercover as a Russian crime lord in order to capture the Punisher. Instead of executing Castle, however, Nick Fury and the Black Widow secretly offer him a place on their new Avengers team. Meanwhile, War Machine is sent to South America to find a gangster who goes by the name Tyrone Cash. A former partner of Bruce Banner, Cash also possesses Hulk-like strength and invulnerability while retaining his intelligence. He is eventually blackmailed by War Machine to join the new Avengers team. After this team is fully assembled Nick Fury informs them of their current target, Ghost Rider. It is revealed that the Ghost Rider, as Johnny Blaze, made a pact with the demon Satan in seeking revenge on a biker gang, who killed Blaze and his girlfriend Roxanne Simpson as part of a satanic ritual in bartering their souls with Satan in exchange for wealth and power. The leader of the bikers Michael Blackthorne is the Vice-President, who made an executive order to the Avengers to stop the Ghost Rider from killing him.
Max: Whew. For a 6 issue story with no real character and long-form plot development, this thing is COMPLICATED.
Chris: Bear in mind that, before this, The story for Ultimate Comics: Avengers was literally the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. so, building on it was like chucking another adagio on the symphony. Okay, where do you want to start?